Something that I have noticed over the years is that we diabetics often get very nervous when first meeting another diabetic (particularly in real life, but sometimes online as well). I think there is an instant tension between the two. On one hand we're nervous to find that they take way better care of themselves thus by comparison making you feel like crap about yourself. On the other hand we're nervous about just the opposite, we don't want to come off as the diabetes police (because nobody likes the diabetes police) and fear making them feel like crap about themselves. It's a twisted situation, everyone feeling uncomfortable to discuss our habits of self care, but at the same time so excited and anticipating the 'juicy' talk. I'm sure this isn't true for everyone, but I sure feel it in myself and sense it in most other diabetics that I meet.
Why do we do this? Why are we so nervous? Here's what i've come up with so far. As we all know it's damn hard being a diabetic, that's no secret. Every one of us knows the internal struggles that are involved every single day, the pride when we do great, and that sneaky guilt that drowns us when we make mistakes. Too many of us (myself included) let these feelings become the source or our self esteem. If for a day we are a 'good diabetic' (and I hate that term by the way) we tend to feel like we can take on the world, we've figured it out, we won, and 'if we could just keep it up this time....' But if we are a 'bad diabetic' (I hate this term 100 times more) we feel like a bad person, a failure, a person who can't control anything, and we start to lose hope. Now I do know that this doesn't always happen, I know that all of us can also sometimes take a bad day in stride and just move on from it, and that is terrific! But I'm specifically talking about those really low lows (no pun intended). I think that we too often think that other diabetics will judge us harshly too. The truth is we don't, we're all on the same team here. But it's his misunderstanding that causes us have this intense fear of pushing another diabetics emotional buttons, or having our own pushed by someone else.
I think we all need to take a step back, realize what's going on, support each other, and trust that we will be supported. It's all we've got.
Friday, December 12, 2008
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4 comments:
Great Post. I can't say that I feel that way because I feel that we are all try to become the perfect Diabetic but we all know that none of are. For that reason we all understand and accepts each other regardless of how good or bad a Diabetic you are.
Thanks for sharing your views. Maybe someday we will meet. Don't worry, I don't judge...
I've never thought about how I would feel when meeting other diabetics. I remember when I went to my first education session, I felt like I knew it all. Turns out I didn't know anything, but it was good to share with other people who are dealing with this.
Another issue that I think about is that I feel (and I'm probably wrong) that Type 1 and Type 2 diabetics do not understand each other. I have Type 2, and sometimes I feel like I have it easier which is not true. We all struggle, we all have the same risks.
As for feeling a bad diabetic, it happens all the time. But who are we to judge each other? This isn't a condition easy to deal with. It's a daily challenge, and we should support each other.
Thank you for the post! Nice meeting you. :-)
Thanks Chris! I just edited the post because I think i was a little unclear. I meant that in reality we DON'T judge other diabetics, we just fear that they do. I didn't mean we actually judge. :) Thanks for reading!
Bea, I totally agree, we all struggle who's to say more or less. Struggles are struggles. Nice to meet you too!
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